mom: where the hell is all the halloween candy i bought? did you eat it all?
Jack Sparrow’s way of telling you your hair is ratchet.
That’s Captain Jack Sparrow you uneducated shit
YOU KNOW WHAT? I REALIZED, THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST SPENDING YOUR DAYS IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER, CHECKING OUT TUMBLR. FROM NOW ON I’M NOT GOING TO WASTE MY LIFE ON THE COMPUTER!
*opens tumblr app on mobile*
This is the kind of betrayal you have to be prepared for in the big bad world, kid